hangover/hungover note

Yesterday, I had a hangover. Whenever I’m hungover I take a moment to think about how I got there. Because there is a bad physical feeling, like a headache, associated with a hangover, getting to the bottom of it is part of my current hangover ritual. Like maybe if I did get to the bottom of it I *could* have the wine and *not* ever feel bad ever again. But I get older every day and the bad feeling seems to be promised now in so many ways.

It’s futile so you have to move on and accept the situation. Well, you could fight it with like “hangover cures” and I certainly recommend a Coca Cola (and not drinking any coffee whatsoever) if you’re having a hard time getting your feet on the ground. But everyone has their own thing that works for them and much of that is defined by time and place. When I worked at Dove’s, I would have a paper cup with just pozole broth in it by the line, haven’t done it since. Anyway, it’s just going to be your day and you can make it bad by hating it or you can meet yourself where you are. Which is what basically everyone I talked to does.

Everyone has their little food thing but also this easy approach to themselves. Finding a little more sleep where they can or just laying down time even in public. I love to rest my head on the bus window while I’m off to somewhere that I apparently need to be. Ari says that she can usually find laughter in her day, adding levity that balances the suspended feeling. Sammie says the hangover feels like her secret and can be kind of fun. And I know what she means, there is like a strong sensation of snapping back into yourself. Drinking can feel like joining a social body, made up of however many people but the hangover can be the reconstruction of boundaries and in a very private and personal way. Time to yourself even when you have to be in public. 

We use hangover in a larger sense, which I think is one reason why I’m interested in pushing on it. The word is also used to describe “a thing that has survived from the past”. Which made me laugh so hard with how vague that is, like the potential for hangover is almost constant. The feeling after a night of crying hard reminds me of the alienation that comes with an alcohol hangover. Or something longer, a lingering unsettled feeling that you’ve done everything wrong by yourself and everyone you know. I think there’s something to be taken with the lessons of the more direct alcohol-related hangover. The slowness, quiet, sleeping, these are all useful too in approaching the things that are not as easy to pin down. Maybe I just like to think that nothing is a waste of time but I do like to think nothing is a waste of time.

La Pasta

One of the most memorable dinners I’ve cooked in the past year, both for myself and the person eating it was a single dish of pasta. My friend Sofia was moving out of town and burning the candle at every end, trying to see everyone she knew and honor the quality and depth of relationship with everyone in Chicago in like a week. Or two. The amount of time that you have after reality sets in. So she was hungover for our plan to have dinner on my back porch. In the interest of making the most out of our time I put myself in her shoes and made the pasta. Rigatoni with guanciale and kale sauce, basically like a green gricia. I thought, if I were her I would want something with carbs, fat (like pork fat, cheese, and olive oil), and minerals. It was fun! And the embrace of her state by letting it guide our dinner made it memorable in a way that other dinners that have been maybe higher concept, have not been. I think it works for the life hangover too.

Kale & guanciale pasta for 2 people

This requires more kitchen equipment than pasta I make usually does. I’m sorry I think it’s for when you’re caring for a hungover person or are simply moving through life.

half pound of short pasta (or the amount you want)

1/4 cup olive oil

2 cloves of smashed garlic

bunch of kale, ribs removed

the amount of guanciale you want to eat cut into manageable cubes

parmesan

salt

pepper

1. Boil a pot of water and add salt once it’s rolling. While you’re waiting for the water to boil heat the olive oil and garlic gently together in a pan. The garlic should become slightly golden but really you’re looking to soften it.

2. Blanch the kale and add the leaves, garlic, and oil to a blender. Blend until smooth adding salt and pepper to taste, keeping in mind that you are combining the sauce with salty pork and cheese.

3. Add the guanciale to the already warm pan and pasta to the already boiling water.

4. Once the pasta is a satisfactory done-ness add it to the pan (I like to just move it from pot to pan which gets some pasta water in it too but if you’re a drainer reserve some water to add to the pan) and toss to combine. Add the kale sauce and grate the amount of parmesan cheese that you want. Mix until glossy and fully combined.

5. Serve with more cheese and a drizzle of nicer olive oil on top.

Sofia made us a painting that we printed on some t shirts last year which are now back in stock, some size large available for Chicago delivery.

Thank you to Cub, Dario, Ari, Sammie, Riley, Sofia and Mac for talking with me about hangovers.